Cheddar Bay Biscuits

If something is glistening with butter, it might not be healthy, but it's probably good. 

You know what I'm talking about.  Cheddar Bay Biscuits, Red Lobster's most famous offering. Say what you will about this seafood chain, I'll go there anytime you ask me if only to feast on these buttery, cheesy, garlicky bread bombs.  They're famously good...and NOTORIOUSLY bad for you. 

Now, I don't claim that this version I made the other night was healthy, mind you.  A biscuit is a biscuit--that means butter and white flour, and these even include cheese.  But I dare say there a lot less bad than the kind in the restaurant, and you definitely won't end up eating a plate full of deep fried fish along with the biscuits if you make them at home (well, I suppose that's not quite true. I've never deep fried anything and I never plan to.  I can find plenty of deep fried temptation outside my house and don't need to find it inside, too. But you might be deep frying your shoes right now, for all I know.)

Something is clearly wrong with me today.  Is it the fact that, defying my very sloth-like, anti-AM nature, I got out of bed at 5:30 this morning to go to the GYM?  And then I took the dog to the park?  And then I made both breakfast and lunch before leaving for work? Usually I can barely dress myself in the 15-minute post-wake up, pre-run-to-catch-the-bus morning haze.  I am not myself ("How am I not myself?" -- name that movie) today, clearly.  


So, meandering my way back to a point, BISCUITS.  They is good.  

I should have used a bigger sheet, but that would have meant washing one, and I'm lazy.

These biscuits might just make up for my mental shortcomings.  I love drop biscuits (my go-to biscuit recipe is a roll n cut variety) because they're just so easy to whip up on a moment's notice, when you are panicking that "OMG my dinner doesn't have STARCH in it?  How can I eat without potatoes or white flour!?"  Hey, I was raised in the Midwest.  I need my carbs. 


Crisp and flavorful, they aren't as flaky as those RL (for some that acronym might mean Ralph Lauren; in my food-centric world, it's of course Red Lobster) versions made with probably triple the amount of butter, but that just means I can eat three times as many before the guilt sets in.  


Cheddar-Herb Biscuits
Makes about 8 fairly large biscuits


1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
4 Tbsp cold butter (half a stick), divided

2 Tbsp minced fresh parsley, divided (or a combination of herbs--try chives, cilantro, thyme...)

3/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

freshly ground black pepper

3/4 cup buttermilk (or take regular milk and add a teaspoon of white vinegar, then let sit for 10 minutes until it curdles)
1/4 tsp garlic powder


Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl.  Cut 3 Tbsp of butter into cubes, and then use a pastry blender or two knives to cut the butter into the flour mixture until resembles coarse meal, with some butter chunks about the size of coarse peas.  


Stir in 1 1/2 Tbsp herbs, cheese, and pepper until well mixed, then add buttermilk. Stir just until combined.  Dough will be loose, shaggy, and sticky (you may need to add another Tablespoon or two of milk).  


Preheat oven to 400 degrees and grease a cookie sheet.  Drop heaping tablespoonfuls of batter onto prepared sheet, about 2" apart (this should yield 7-8 large biscuits or close to a dozen if you use teaspoons). 


Bake for 13-15 minutes (shorter for smaller muffins) until tops are golden and bottoms are crisp and brown.  


Melt remaining 1 Tbsp of butter, mix with remaining 1/2 Tbsp parsley and garlic powder, and brush this mixture all over the tops of the hot biscuits.  (You can skip this step if you want...but why would you want to?)